he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
