It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
