before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
