Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
