You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
