your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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