Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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