Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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