Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
