Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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