I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
