I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
