I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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