Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
