No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
