Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
