Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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