he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Terrible idea I love it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
