I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
