physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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