if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
