There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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