Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
