Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
