she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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