The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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