he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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