in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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