That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
