So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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