There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize