..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize