i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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