So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
