I seem to have left my pride at pride
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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