I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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