you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
