she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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