Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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