Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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