i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Randomize
