He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
