It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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