I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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