we have officially lost it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
