I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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