we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
