I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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