Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
