White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
