We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
