can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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