I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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