Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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