like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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