Ambien. No doubt about it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
