have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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