Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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