i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He did a backflip because drugs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
