so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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