Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
